I just deleted the 2 previous posts...

because they were too angsty for the world to read. I'm sorry! Here's the deal: I'm back up to 207, and I was frustrated and taking it out on this blog. But I have to stay positive, right?
You know what I think my biggest mistake was (is)? I've allowed weight watching to become the #1 in my life, and that's kind of pathetic. I have other interests, and I've been dropping them. I love to write, I love to learn, I love to read my Bible (sometimes...heh). But I've been avoiding those things because they take my mind off of the 'main battle.' And I'm not saying I should give up, or even stop trying as hard as I am, but my battle times should be at Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and when the Snack Attack hits. That's IT. Not when I'm out shopping, not when I'm reading, not when I'm lying in bed thinking. Just... at the appropriate times. Obsessing is something I do a lot of - and obsessing over something as unpredictable as weight loss is going to drive me insane. In my previous post - now deleted - I said I was holding food hostage until my body went back to 205. Here's the thing: My body was holding ME hostage, and wouldn't release my mind until I was thin. And thin? Yeah, it's not a solid thing. I'm nowhere near there - but would I ever be?
I'm hoping to at least be healthy, but I'll do it because I want to, not because of my stupid body-image.
Love you all!
(Re-inspired) Sophie Ellen