GAHH!

This has GOT to stop. I have GOT to get control back. I don't know what happened; I was so self-controlled for like three months, now all of a sudden I want to eat everything I see. Bad Sophie, bad!
I'm still at 198, but barely (I think), and I need to pick up my game. This is ridiculous. Maybe I should just go on a fast? I have a fairly weak metabolism (no lie) and fasts don't generally make me lose weight, but I do need to get back in control, and a fast might put me back in the right mind set. It's six right now, if I waited 30 hours that could work. The only problem is my metabolism, I really don't want to kill it completely.
So how about this; no food for 30 hours, excepting carrot sticks. Sound good? I won't eat all that many, because we don't have all that many left. And I'll only do that if I must. Alright, I can do it. It'll actually be more than 30 hours, cause I haven't eaten for awhile, but I'm not even hungry, so it doesn't matter. I can eat at midnight tomorrow night, but hopefully not much. Of course, as always, this depends on if I can get my parents to not make me eat.
I can't wait until college.
Anyway, that's what I'm going to do. And I'm going to write, and not beat myself up for the past few days, because everyone makes mistakes. And you know what? When I'm guilty, I can't write, so it really messes me up.
Oh, and I've changed my rewards. At 197, I'm going to reread/edit book 1, at 195, book 2, and at 193, I'll read the Stephen King.
I really prefer it this way, because my writing really is more important that my weight (GASP) and I can't let it suffer for my lack of self-control.
Thankfully, the last few days have been wonderful, despite my horrific eating habits (which I will not detail) and I thank God that he's so good to me. I really do love France, it's a beautiful country. I just miss home. God bless you, USA!
Sophie Ellen
STATS: same.