Oh my mother... part 2.

Okay, so I was GOING to be good at lunch, but then mom got mad at me. "If you're not going to eat it, we should've just stayed home and saved the money!"
ACK. I TRIED to get her to eat a subway sandwich with me, but she wouldn't. Ah well. That was this afternoon, and now I'm majorly desiring food. Like... lots of food. Oreos. Cheese. Popcorn. Apple Pie. The whole deal. But I have to be good, don't I? I mean, isn't that sort of what the point of this whole losing weight thing is? So I need a defense tactic. I DO know that the best way to get rid of cravings is to eat just a bit of whatever it is you want, but I want so many different things, none of them healthy, that I'll end up killing myself with calories.
So, I'm thinking... obviously lots of water. Then, perhaps, some more water. And tea, tea is good. I'll have an oreo, probably. Maybe a carrot. Mom just suggested tuna, which I might go for - it's good protein. And I'm starving, so that might be nice.
Big question of the night; can I avoid cheese? I'll tell you what, it's not a question. I simply will not give in to cheese. I will not.
*phew* I feel better.
So... another question. Shall I be able to survive carrot without dressing? I love dressing. :(
*ACK*
The good thing is, all this obsessing almost makes me want absolutely nothing at all. Let's keep on, shall we? *goes to get more water*
On my expedition, I learned that A) the dressing is WAY more calories than I'm willing to eat and B) I can't find the oreos. Ah fate, how good you are to me. But I'm needing sweet, so I might have a different kind of cookie. Or just chocolate, if I can find any. Maybe.
Alright, so, I've narrowed it down to tea, water, and tuna. I'll probably have a cup of chai also, providing that I don't binge on sweets. Oh, and the carrot.
Is that good? Is that bad? I think, given how badly I want food, it's good. Hopefully boredom will prevent me from also having popcorn, although we do have 100 calories portions, which I shouldn't feel too bad about.
Love you all!
Sophie Ellen
(Oh, by the by, I'm back to 198)

It's been a long day...

but a good one, I think. I went to the mall with my mother, and we had an amazing shopping spree! And guess what! We went to french store, in a french mall, and because of my recent weight loss, I was able to fit into the clothes! Not all the clothes, mind you, but it was the first time I've been encouraged by a clothes store in a long time. I mean, when you live in France, what's the best part? The food and the clothes! Ironic, since it's hard to fit INTO the clothes when the food is so wonderful, but that's just how the cookie crumbles.
That phrase reminded me: I thank God that I don't have that big of a sweet tooth. Weight loss would be impossible if I did. Nah, I'm a salt person, probably to balance out my especially sweet personality! ... >.<
Anyway, after clothes shopping, we ate lunch at a pizza place, and I'll be honest, I ate a bit too much. Not as much as I could've - I didn't finish the plate - but still more than was probably good for me. But shopping at the mall always exhausts me, and I couldn't say no. I tried - I had a miniature panic attack when I looked at the food I was ordering - but in the end my mom convinced me (of course) that this was our treat. I refuse to feel guilty though, because we walked all over the mall, and trying on clothes burns calories!
Then we came home (after a bit more shopping..;D) and I had coffee, because I didn't think I'd make it through the rest of the day without a nap, and the coffee gave me so much energy, I exercised for like an hour. Well.. 'exercise.' Really I did some core exercises and then danced crazily around my room. Hey, it burns calories, right? :) And it's something I can do every day without getting sick of it - I hate routines generally. But dancing is something I can always do.
Then I got online for a little while, because I was tired. :) Now, for dinner, I had a few bites of yogurt and a cup of skim milk and a green tea. I know it's a little skimpy, but I'm earnestly not hungry after that lunch. And I wasn't sure if I should have the milk, but it's loaded on protein and B vitamins, both of which help your metabolism, and it was skim, so I decided to go for it.
Skim Milk benefits: http://recipes.howstuffworks.com/natural-weight-loss-food-skim-milk-ga.htm
Alright, well, I'm going to finish my tea, read James, and head off to sleep, I think. It's only 8:30, but after I finish reading it'll be 9, and I hate staying up late.
Ooh! And my scale is my friend again today! Apparently, my fierce obsession yesterday was effective. That doesn't mean, however, that I'm going to resort to it again.
Stats: Weight: 205 BMI: 30.3
Sophie Ellen
P.S. My dad had cheese and sausage for dinner (my favorites) and I walked through the kitchen - they were still out on the counter! My stomach said, "Come on, one piece of cheese can't hurt!" But my mind said, "On top of all that mozerella on the pizza today, it sure can! Resist!" And I did! Amazing. But only after telling myself I could have a little bit tomorrow, if I was good. :D